The Best Kind of Gift

(My sermon for 12/27 at Pittsfield E. Free Church)

I’ve just spent my first Christmas season working in retail. It was a real adventure watching this whole thing from the other side of the counter. There were those shoppers who seemed to be enjoying the experience. You could tell they were buying things they were going to enjoy giving to friends or family members. There were others with long lists, looking for very specific items. The intended recipient had named the exact toy or game they required and it seemed it was usually Grandma or Grandpa who was trying to find the exact item, often without really understanding what the thing was. They were sometimes surprised by the expense of something but would sigh and say, “Well, it’s what he wants.”

Others were confused, not quite sure what they were looking for. Their questions went something like this: “I’m trying to find a certain toy. I can’t remember what it’s called or exactly what it is supposed to do. Do you have that?” The mood of some weary last-minute shoppers on Christmas Eve seemed to be saying to me, “I don’t care. Just throw something in my shopping cart. It’ll have to do.”

Somehow we’ve allowed the whole gift thing to overshadow everything that is good and important about Christmas. So I wonder how your Christmas was. If the shopping was a hassle and the pressure got to you, I hope in the end there was some joy in the gift-giving and the gift-getting.

If we can keep things in perspective, sharing gifts with those we love can be a lot of fun. It can be a wonderful way to express love and appreciation and to encourage each other.

It seems gift-giving is something we really can’t avoid. There are all kinds of reasons that gifts are given, whether at Christmas or at other times. Often it’s just a tradition, like at birthdays and Christmas and other special occasions. We may or not feel emotionally connected to the person. Our motivation for giving varies with the situation. Sometimes we’re happy to be doing it, other times less so, but there will always be gift-giving.

It leads me to wonder what is the best kind of gift?

Gifts given out of obligation
Sometimes gifts are given out of a sense of obligation.

Margaret Visser wrote about giving in the New York Times this last week. There is an aspect of giving that is centered entirely around social obligation. Gifts are often given in a business setting or other situations where we have little or no personal connection to the people to whom we are giving things. “Gifting” it’s called. When your children are invited to a classmate’s birthday party, you’ll go through the process of finding a gift, even though you (and sometimes your child) really don’t know the birthday girl or boy at all. It’s a social obligation.

A gift given out of a sense of obligation is an annoyance to the giver, and is received with less interest by the recipient. Visser wrote, “A person is grateful to receive a gift precisely to the degree to which she realizes that the giver wants to give it, that real benevolence is its meaning. If you "gift" something, offering a present entirely out of duty or convention, do not expect gratitude: Receivers usually know what the present represents. And gratitude is not normally inspired by a duty done.”

Much of the time the sacrifices of Israel were given out of a sense of obligation. God required them and the people complied. Certainly there were times when their gifts and sacrifices stemmed from a genuine spirit of worship, but we don’t get the feeling that was usually the case. God tired of sacrifices that were given this way. In Hosea it says, “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings. (5.6)”

And in Isaiah: "The multitude of your sacrifices— what are they to me?" says the LORD. "I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
12 When you come to appear before me, who has asked this of you, this trampling of my courts?
13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. (Is. 1.11-13)”

Even though the sacrifices were God’s idea, he had little interest in gifts given purely from a sense of duty.

So, many times gifts are given out of a sense of obligation. If that brings such little joy to either the gift-giver or the gift-getter, then what is the best kind of gift?

Gifts given expecting something in return
Sometimes gifts are given with the expectation of receive something in return. Did you read the Dilbert comic strip on Christmas Day? It’s Christmas morning and Dilbert is having coffee with his dog, Dogbert.
Dilbert: Merry Christmas. Here’s a hundred bucks.
Dogbert: And here’s a hundred bucks for you.
Dilbert: We could save another step by setting up an electronic transfer with an annual recurring option.
Dogbert: Excellent.
Dogbert: Or we could not give gifts.
Dilbert: Hush your crazy talk.

When Abraham was very old, he sent his servant off to Abraham’s old country to find a wife for Isaac from Abraham’s own people. When the servant arrived there he met Rebekah and when he sensed this was the person the Lord had lead him to, who would become Isaac’s wife, the servant gave Rebekah gold jewelry and gifts of clothing. He also gave expensive gifts to Rebekah’s brother and mother. These gifts had a specific purpose. They weren’t merely to be kind or generous. They indicated the wealth of Abraham’s family, and they were to help compensate Rebekah’s family for the loss of their daughter, who would be moving far away. The idea of a bride price goes back to Biblical times. It was paid with the expectation that a woman would become a man’s wife. This was a gift given with the expectation of something in return.

When gifts are given with the expectation of something in return, rather than a joyful sharing of carefully selected gifts, it becomes a de facto contractual exchange. It’s probably appropriate under certain circumstances but it’s not the best kind of present to give or receive.

If gifts given out of a sense of obligation, or with the expectation of getting something in return are not the best, what is the best kind of gift?

Gifts given to appease
Sometimes gifts are given to appease, or to make amends. Maybe there was an offense, or a bad decision, or something hurtful, or maybe even evil committed. And the thought is, “If I give them something, they’ll forgive me…or think better of me…or the gift will open the door for a conversation…or it will somehow make up for the wrong that was done.”

Do you recall this story? He selected a gift for his brother: two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys.

This was Jacob’s gift for his brother Esau. Jacob had been away for a long, long time, and for good reason. Jacob had deceived his father and stolen his brother Esau’s inheritance. Now after many years Jacob was headed home and when he learned that Esau was headed out to meet him he was terribly afraid. So he put together this little gift package, something like 600 animals, to soften up his brother and smooth things out. Jacob hoped this would pacify his brother, so he sent the animals ahead and he waited until the next day. Turns out Esau was happy to see Jacob and the droves of animals weren’t really necessary, but this is a clear example of a gift that was given to make amends, to patch things up.

Is this a bad reason to give a gift? Maybe, depending on the circumstances, or maybe not always. But it’s not the best kind of gift.

What is the best kind of gift?

A Gift Given Purely Out of Love
The best gift is one that’s given purely out of love. It’s not given out of a sense of obligation. It’s not given with the expectation that we will get something in return. The best gift isn’t one given to appease someone. It’s one given purely out of love.

What was the best gift you ever received at Christmas, or anytime, really? I would expect your memory of that best gift is attached to a special person and a special situation. The best gift you received might not have been the most expensive one. Maybe it was a drawing made by a toddler and taped to the refrigerator. Maybe your best gift wasn’t a thing at all, but was a gift of someone’s time, or a promise, or a visit from someone you hadn’t seen for a long time.
Hopefully, when you think really carefully about what was your best-ever gift your answer is “Jesus.” He is the best gift God could have given and it was given purely out of love. That’s what Christmas is -- a celebration of God giving us Jesus.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (Jn. 3.16)”

What was God’s motivation for giving this incredible gift? Just that he loved us. Nothing else. He wasn’t obligated to give us anything. He didn’t give because he was demanding anything in return. And it certainly wasn’t to appease us, as if he had offended us and needed to make up for it. Now you might think he gave us Jesus with the expectation that we would respond with our own obligatory gift…of our lives back to him. I think he gave us Jesus just because he loves us. Period.

Max Lucado is a pastor and author who has a gift for creatively expressing God’s truth. He wrote:
Untethered by time, God sees us all… vagabond and ragamuffins all, He saw us before we were born.

And He loves what He sees. Flooded by emotion. Overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, “You are my child. I love you dearly. I’m aware that someday you’ll turn from me and walk away. But I want you to know, I’ve already provided a way back.”
And to prove it, He did something extraordinary.

Stepping from the throne, He removed His robe of light and wrapped Himself in skin: pigmented, human skin. The light of the universe entered a dark, wet womb. He whom angels worship nestled Himself in the placenta of a peasant, was birthed into a cold night, and then slept on cow’s hay.

Mary didn’t know whether to give Him milk or give Him praise, but she gave Him both since He was, as near as she could figure, hungry and holy.

Joseph didn’t know whether to call Him Junior or Father. But in the end, he called Him Jesus, since that’s what the angel had said and since he didn’t have the faintest idea what to name a God he could cradle in his arms…

Don’t you think…their heads tilted and their minds wondered, “What in the world are you doing, God?” Or, better phrased, “God, what are you doing in the world?”

“Can anything make me stop loving you?” God asks. “Watch Me speak your language, sleep on your earth, and feel your hurts. Behold the Maker of sight and sound as He sneezes, coughs, and blows His nose. You wonder if I understand how you feel? Look into the dancing eyes of the kid in Nazareth: that’s God walking to school. Ponder the toddler at Mary’s table: that’s God spilling His milk.”

“You wonder how long my love will last? Find your answer on a splintered cross, on a craggy hill. That’s me you see up there, your Maker, your God, nail-stabbed and bleeding. Covered in spit and sin-soaked.”

“That’s your sin I’m feeling. That’s your death I’m dying. That’s your resurrection I’m living. That’s how much I love you.” (TIMELESS, BOUNDLESS LOVE - Max Lucado)

God Giving us Jesus
Romans 5 (The Message)
1-2By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.

Because God gave us Jesus, we can be made right with him. It’s called righteousness. And we discover that he has poured out his grace on us.

When we exchange gifts at our house the gift-giver usually goes to the tree, finds one of the gifts he or she has prepared, and brings it to the gift-getter. When someone is handing you something, you instinctively reach out to take it. It’s yours now. At that moment, there are good feelings on both sides: The satisfaction of giving, and the happiness of getting.

Reading again from the Message, the Apostle Paul wrote about how Adam’s sin brought death, but how God gives us life because of Jesus:
(17)If death got the upper hand through one man's wrongdoing (Adam), can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?

“…in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift…”

Here’s a silly little gift I gave Karen for Christmas. I wrapped it in tissue and put it in a gift bag. She pulled it out and felt it and tried to guess what it was. Then she unwrapped it and saw what it was – Wally the Green Monster. It made her laugh. I liked that. It made me feel good to see her laugh and enjoy receiving and having this silly gift.

Think of God, reaching out to you with the gift of righteousness (the gift of being right with him) made possible by Jesus. He’s hoping you’ll grasp it with both hands and open it up and find out how incredibly special this is, and laugh with joy over it. That’s the Gospel – God offering not a silly little gift, but an extraordinarily expensive gift just because he loves us, and us accepting it and laughing with joy when we discover what it is.

As we said earlier, God didn’t give this gift because he expected something in return. After all, if we properly understand our situation, we know we’re damaged goods.

Reading again from Romans 5 in The Message:
6-8Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

The best kind of gift is one given purely out of love. That’s what’s behind God giving us Jesus.

THE BEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE
What should be our best gift to God? Worship. The wise men got it right.

I’ve had discussions with those who see the God served by Christians as one who demands worship. If we refuse, they think, God sends us to hell. They believe the Bible describes a God who insists on servitude and obedience. We could find verses in the Bible that suggest that’s what he’s like...”I am a jealous God”…”Be holy, because I am holy.” But people who stop there fail to understand how much more there is to God’s character.

But it’s logically impossible to demand worship. Worship is love and adoration given to someone who we have come to appreciate, honor, respect, adore. No one can insist that you appreciate them. No one can demand that you adore them. No one can insist that you love them. Those things come as we grow in our understanding of someone’s qualities and character.
If God had wired us so that we had no choice but to worship him, it wouldn’t be worship at all. If God had given us no choice but to love him, it wouldn’t be love at all. That would be a gift given out of obligation, or to appease, or perhaps because we expected something from God in return. We’ve already seen that those aren’t the best gifts.

To be true worship, it has to be by our choice.

The best gift is one given purely out of love. Our best gift to God is our loving worship. He is most honored, most pleased, when we lovingly choose to worship him.

Worship is what we do here on Sunday mornings. We come here to worship corporately, with other like-minded people. We pray together, we join our voices together, we think together about what God is teaching us in his word, we give together.

But worship also happens all day long…all week long. It happens when we live our lives in a way that honors God. It happens when we reflect the character of Jesus to the people around us. It happens when we make a God-honoring choice about the way we use our time and our resources. Worship happens we teach and admonish our children to honor him with their lives. Worship happens when we do our work with excellence and integrity. Worship happens when we choose not to do things that would dishonor him.

CLOSING CHALLENGE
The best kind of gift is one given purely out of love. That’s the kind of gift God gave us when he gave us Jesus – when he gave us righteousness (rightness with him). My challenge to you is to do these two things:

Going into this new year, remind yourself every day about what God has given you – just because he loves you.

And going into this new year give God the gift of your loving worship, every day.

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon his shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

by Stuart Townsend
listen

Niagara at 30,000 Feet

Several times, when making the drive from Massachusetts to Minnesota (or back the other way) I've stopped at Niagara Falls. It's not too far off I-90, so it's sort of on the way. The power and majesty of the falls is pretty impressive. I know some people have survived tumbling over the falls, but it still looks really dangerous and overwhelming.

Yesterday I saw Niagara Falls from 30,000 feet up. It's different from that perspective. You can see the river, upstream and down. And there are some little white ruffles above the falls where the rapids are. The water flows down, slips over the falls and continues on it's way. It's interesting. But it doesn't look dangerous.

You can probably guess where I'm going with this. Seen from up close the stuff we need to go through can be overwhelming. We're moving downstream, maybe feeling like someone stole the paddle, and we see rapids and then the river ahead drops out of sight. Scarey stuff. But there's someone else with his hand on the boat. He can see where we've been and he knows where we're headed. The falls ahead are interesting (he made them after all) but they're not dangerous.

I'm still in the stream. Even after a morning of meetings (two interview sessions involving nine different people, and a chance meeting with the college president in the hallway) I'm still waiting -- floating along. God has his hand on the boat. It's interesting. But it's not dangerous.

Has Myers-Briggs been my crutch all these years? Like a gazillion other people (something like two million every year) I have taken MBTI. They told me, "You're an ISTJ." I said, "Okay."

I haven't thought much about the S, T, or J. I've thought a lot about the "I". That's where I landed on the Introversion-Extroversion scale. In fact, I think they had to extend the introversion scale out another inch so they would have a place to put the x. So I've walked around with this big "I" on my forehead for the past 20 years or so. Maybe you've seen it there. It never bothered me. I just saw it as a description of my pesonality, and I figured it was pretty accurate. After all, I'm not the noisey one in the room, I have to process all my words in my head before they come out my mouth, and I enjoy solitude (at least some of the time). That's all typical "I" stuff.

The problem, of course, is that I can sometimes hide behind the "I". "You can't expect me to do that, there will be a bunch of people there." "I prefer to work alone." Or even worse, "I don't need other people, because I'm an "I"."

But the other day the SIMA people said, "Your motivation is oriented toward group involvements. You want to be part of a team or group, to participate in its activities, and to contribute in some way to its success. You enjoy being involved in efforts in which people work together for a common purpose."

You know what? They're right. As I look back, it's a pattern I can see running through my life. I've been most effective and most fulfilled when I've been part of a team working together toward a clear goal. I could list a dozen examples.

I love knowing this about myself. I can't change the way God put my personality together, and I don't really want to. But no more hiding behind the "I".

The Fleece Incident

I've been working through a career transition process with a company called People Management (or SIMA International). Right now, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for them to complete my profile. I'm looking forward to finding out what they will say about my motivations and strengths. The profile will be based on all the pages I wrote about significant events and achievements in my life from childhood up to the present, and on a seventy-minute interview this past Monday. The coach described their process as "high touch, not high tech."

Sometimes I think this career stuff would be easier if an angel of the Lord approached me while I was threshing grain in a winepress. He would say, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior," or something like that. And then he would tell me what to do, and I'd go do it. Well I hope I would.

Gideon wasn't too quick about going to do it. I've known about Gideon since I was little because they told me about him when I was in Sunday School. Since then I've preached about him once or twice. It's easy to preach about him because it's such a great Bible story. But I heard something brand new about Gideon the other day. Pastor Rick McKinniss from Wellspring Church talked about Gideon.

I've always thought of Gideon's tests -- the fleece incident -- as evidence of weak faith and reluctance to act. But Rick said when God gives a big assignment (and Gideon's assignment was pretty big) it is right to ask for strong confirmation.

I'm going to do that as this journey goes along. This is all in God's sovereign hands, of course. He'll assign, direct and confirm in exactly the right way. But I'm going to humbly ask him to make the path overwhelmingly clear. I'd like strong confirmation, please. I know I'll need faith, but God seemed pleased to give Gideon the confirmation he needed and I'm praying for that, too.

Vocation

A few years back I preached a sermon about vocation. I pulled it out the other day so I could preach it to myself. The text was 2 Peter 1.3-11. The passage is bracketed by the word "call." It makes sense to sort out the differences between who we are, our jobs, our vocation, and our sense of God's calling. These are overlapping ideas, of course. That's what makes sorting it out kind of difficult.

It's pretty easy, probably normal, to define yourself by your vocation. It's one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new. After we've exhausted the conversation about the weather, we usually ask "What do you do?" It helps put the person in some sort of context. But what if you're not doing anything at the moment?

What if we asked instead, "To what are you called?" I think that's a better question. That's the question I need to answer for myself at this point. When I can answer that question, it's going to make mapping out the next steps a lot easier.

This morning I had my first meeting with a career coach. I came away with a strong sense of hope. This process of assessment, resume preparation and placement is going to be a great adventure. I'm excited about the pursuit of a position that will involve the right match of my skills and giftedness with the work to be done. My prayer is that this process will be at least part of what God uses to help me define his call on my life.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us..." 2 Peter 1.3

One should hardly complain

I caught myself yesterday. It was Day One of my journey. I was telling a friend that it was the first time in my working life that I had woken up with no place to go to work. But my friend hasn't been able to work for several years. It wasn't one of his better days to start with. I'm sure I didn't help.

I've been blessed. Two jobs in 30 years, and a seamless transition between those two. Thanks for that, Lord. This is a strange place to be in after all these years. I have said to a couple of people that I know God is sovereign. I know that in my head. I need to know it in my heart. As one would expect, I'm experiencing all sorts of emotions from grief to positive anticipation. I expect I'll feel less of the first and more of the second as the journey continues. But in between there is a little fear, some uncertainty, and hope.

Day One consisted of getting stuff shuffled around in the house. I hauled a lot of things home from the office, including a bunch of books, a file cabinet, and two wooden tables that Karen's dad helped me build a long time ago. It was therapeutic to stay busy with that for the day. Day Two included the dentist, the library, placing a call to a career coach, and setting up a blog.